What am I?

"...I'm not what I was or what I will be..." -Psapp, from the song Upstairs

The other thought for the moment is that I've grown to really hate being on the receiving end of mixed messages. Really.

That is all for now.

Awaiting new L.B.

Am very eagerly anticipating "Under the Skin", the new CD by Lindsey Buckingham. Check out some of the songs at his website. "Down on Rodeo" is exceptional, and "Show You How" is too!

October 3 is going to be an expensive new music week for me...not only new L.B. but also new releases from the Killers, Beck, Jet, the Decemberists, and Robyn Hitchcock.

We are what we are...

I came across a quote that I love today while surfing various websites:

"We are constantly invited to be what we are" -- Henry David Thoreau

I have always loved this quote. While it may seem somewhat fatalistic at first glance, it is not. The quote is beautiful in its simplicity. In my humble opinion it implies choice: we can choose to be what we are or we can pretend we are something we are not. At the same time, the observation in the quote doesn't limit us from trying to change and grow. It does imply that there are ways or "invitations" for us to grow that lie within our authentic selves. Things tend to work out to a kind of equilibrium of that same authentic self versus any false facade we might create.

Every day I see Thoreau's observation in action. I'm as guilty as the next person of occasionally pretending to be something other than what I am. But it seems that pretense tends to dissolve (often quite quickly, sometimes painfully), unless it fits with our authentic self and whatever joys, sorrows or limitations that entails. It seems those who are happiest have embraced who and what they are and continue to build their world around that.

When you were young...

Lyrics of the moment...I listened to this song 11 times in a row! (and still loved it!) Yes, "...And sometimes you close your eyes and see the place where you used to live...When you were young..."

While the CD won't be released for a while, you can hear this song at the Killers' website: www.islandrecords.com/thekillers/site.html. There are strains of Springsteen...not that that's good or bad.

"When You Were Young"
by the Killers

You sit there in your heartache
Waiting on some beautiful boy to
To save you from your old ways
You play forgiveness
Watch it now - here he comes

He doesn't look a thing like Jesus
But he talks like a gentlemen
Like you imagined when you were young

Can we climb this mountain
I don't know
Higher now than ever before
I know we can make it if we take it slow
Let's take it easy
Easy now, watch it go

We're burning down the highway skyline
On the back of a hurricane that started turning
When you were young
When you were young

And sometimes you close your eyes
and see the place where you used to live
When you were young

They say the devil's water, it ain't so sweet
You don't have to drink right now
But you can dip your feet
Every once in a little while

You sit there in your heartache
Waiting on some beautiful boy to
To save you from your old ways
You play forgiveness
Watch it now here he comes

He doesn't look a thing like Jesus
But he talks like a gentlemen
Like you imagined when you were young
(He talks like a gentlemen, like you imagined when)
When you were young

I said he doesn't look a thing like Jesus
He doesn't look a thing like Jesus
But more than you'll ever know

What can we learn from poor Pluto?

So what do we make of poor Pluto's demotion from planet to "dwarf planet" and striking from the list of official "full-blown, honest-to-goodness" planets? Well, work with me on this, but I find it interesting the Pluto is known as a god of the dead or of the underworld and, coincidentally, here in South Dakota we're struggling with a lot of death issues. There's the whole abortion issue, but also this week we are to witness the first person to be put to death in this state in over 60 years. So many folks who are "pro-life" are, perhaps, more accurately, pro-birth, because even though they are so staunchly against killing the unborn, so many of them are staunchly for killing the young man who killed another young man. They say it's justice, but I think it's still killing. Two wrongs don't make a right.

So what seems so black and white to some seems a bit grey to me. It's all in the catagorization, isn't it. Is it murder to kill the unborn or termination of a potential human? Is it murder to kill a murderer or justice? In either case the black and white issue is that something living is no longer living, erasing any and all potentials. The key is which is a person? When does a potential person become a person? When does an existing person lose the right to live?

So many of those who would arrest a doctor for performing an abortion are fine with a doctor (or someone else) performing an execution via injection. It's all in how you catagorize things, isn't it? Is Pluto a planet or a "dwarf planet" or an asteroid? There are always exceptions and shades of grey in this complex world and universe of ours. Isn't there usually an exception to almost every rule? A grey duck for every duck, duck, duck? A warm blooded reptile? A mammal that lays eggs? Infinite diversity in infinite combinations-let's respect that. Live and let live.

Very cool band websites

Below are some of the coolest band websites I've come across in the past few weeks. I love the fact that they are interactive, and their design values are very distinct.

The Shins: www.theshins.com
(newly redesigned to show the band in a library - click around for Easter eggs)

Athlete: www.athlete.mu
(okay, this one has been a long-time favorite - I love clicking on the wind-blown plastic bag)

Muse: www.muse.mu
(cool spinning branch menus!)

Guillemots: www.guillemots.com
(my current favorite! - very interactive and the day progresses - sun to moon, etc.)

Early August blahs...

Yep, I think I got 'em. Been restless and not sleeping well. The days are bright and sunny, but the nights are just lonely. Work is going relatively well despite all the challenges and stresses. There are enough successes to keep plugging away at least. I'm just not feeling great. I really notice the shortening of these beautiful atumn days. Maybe I just need a day off or a million dollars.

It's always been "adapt and win"

RNC Chairman Ken Mehlman wants Americans to believe it's never been about "stay the course" (in Iraq), but rather "adapt and win". This said after every Republican leader has voiced the mantra "stay the course" vs. "cut and run" like those weak-assed, anti-war weenies, the Dems, would do. More revisionism!

"stay the course" "stay the course" "stay the course" "stay the course" "stay the course" "stay the course" "stay the course" oops, we mean "adapt and win" "adapt and win" "adapt and win"

Repeat things enough and people will believe you, I guess.

That's why we forget that the main reason the U.S. invaded Irag was because it had "weapons of mass destruction" - wait, no WMDs were found? Ahem...

The reason we invaded Iraq was because we wanted to "depose a terrorist leader associated with Al-Quaida" - wait, no actual ties to Al-Quaida were found with Saddam? Cough...Ahem...

The reason we invaded Iraq was to "bring democracy to the Iraqi people" - wait, Iraq never asked for this while there are other countries, like Tibet, that have been begging for U.S. help for decades? Uncomfortable silence, then "stay the course," don't "cut and run" - wait we mean "adapt and win" "adapt and win" "adapt and win"! Add "9/11" "9/11" "9/11" "9/11" (waves flag).

Whatever! Obey! Dissent is disloyal! Questioning Our Leader is dangerous! War is peace! Freedom is slavery! Doubleplusgood! ...suspending your rights for the duration of the permanent war! 1984? 2006? Mission accomplished!

Lyrics of the moment...

This one is originally by Kate Bush, circa 1985, and recently remade by Placebo.

Running Up That Hill

It doesn't hurt me.
Do you want to feel how it feels?
Do you want to know, know that it doesn't hurt me?
Do you want to hear about the deal that I'm making?
You, it's you and me.

And if I only could,
I'd make a deal with God,
And I'd get him to swap our places,
Be running up that road,
Be running up that hill,
Be running up that building.
Say, If I only could, oh...

You don't want to hurt me,
But see how deep the bullet lies.
Unaware I'm tearing you asunder.
Ooh, there is thunder in our hearts.

Is there so much hate for the ones we love?
Tell me, we both matter, don't we?
You, it's you and me.
It's you and me won't be unhappy.

And if I only could,
I'd make a deal with God,
And I'd get him to swap our places,
Be running up that road,
Be running up that hill,
Be running up that building,
Say, if I only could, oh...

You,
It's you and me,
It's you and me won't be unhappy.

"C'mon, baby, c'mon darling,
Let me steal this moment from you now.
C'mon, angel, c'mon, c'mon, darling,
Let's exchange the experience, oh..."

And if I only could,
I'd make a deal with God,
And I'd get him to swap our places,
Be running up that road,
Be running up that hill,
With no problems.

say if I only could,
I'd make a deal with God,
And I'd get him to swap our places,
Be running up that road,
Be running up that hill,
With no problems.

If I only could, I'd be running up that hill.
If I only could, I'd be running up that hill.

Thank God for Jon Stewart

He's so good at exposing the hypocrisy of the Bush Administration...

In the case of stem cell research on embryos that would otherwise be discarded "the simple answer is that he [Bush] thinks murder is wrong...he doesn't want human life destroyed..." but in Iraq, where about 30,000 citizens "more or less" have died in the war, it's not murder, but rather "a lamentable...side effect".

Blurry

Whoah! Where does the time go? Tomorrow is August 1. It's been a blur! Wasn't it just a few days ago that it was May 1, and shortly before that, January 1? I'm told that the older you get, the faster time seems to pass because your relative experience is greater than that of, say, a five-year-old. I guess I see that. Summers used to seem to last almost forever.

Lately, work has been intense, and that's seemed to cause the days and weeks to fly past even more quickly.

This past weekend I sort of just crashed. Slept a lot on Saturday, even more on Sunday. Maybe the heat also contributed to it all, but it felt like I almost had no weekend at all. Maybe if I had had a reason to go out and actually do something it would have helped. On Saturday night I was invited out to see a local band with some friends from work, but I just wasn't up to socializing that night.

I guess I just need some more people in my life at the moment. I'm going camping this weekend with my good friend Karl, who's more like a brother, and some others. That should be fun, except for the 8 hours I'll spend on the road to and from the campsite. I'm really tired of living alone.

Do Not Fold, Bend, Spindle or Mutilate

Well, we've got our first virtual art exhibit online at the Pavilion now! It's an interesting show in that all the art has been created on or with computer punch cards. We received over 400 of them from across the world. I actually submitted one and it made the show. A very small version is shown at right.

Check out the show and let me know what you think. My submission is located in the "vertical" section.

Best post-apocalyptic sci-fi kung-fu cowboy video this year

The band's name is Muse, and they're from the U.K. Their new video for a song called "Knights of Cydonia" is the best post-apocalyptic sci-fi kung-fu cowboy video I've seen this year. If they made it into a TV series, I'D WATCH IT RELIGIOUSLY. Now I know on first mention you might not think these things go together, but I gotta tell you they do--perfectly. From the opening sequence showing a mustachioed rider galloping past a desert landscape featuring the Statue of Libery a la the Planet of the Apes to our hero's kung-fu training moves sequence to the holographic juke box to the damsel in distress's Buck Rogers space uniform and rayguns, this one has it all. There's even a unicorn!

To top it off, the song plays like a six-minute soundtrack to the 1970's version of Flash Gordon - complete with killer-Queen guitar riffs. The end roll credits "Production Finance Services by Euro Ballistic Rockets & Aerospace FilmCo, LTD." How utterly appropriate. What else could come from an album named "Black Holes and Revelations"?

Watch it here.

Check out www.muse.mu for more information.
Note: stills are screen captures from video! Check it out, buy the CD!

I wanna be a cowboy!

The Wal-Mart-ization of America

On my recent travels, I was struck by just how eerily similar all the Wall-Marts in America seem to be. In the last three weeks I've been back home in Minnesota, where I took my mom to the newest Wal-Mart Supercenter (she wanted to go), I've been to the two that are here in Sioux Falls, I checked out the store in Brookings, S.D., and I stopped at one in Spearfish, S.D., on my way to visit friends in Montana. It was almost scary to see that each of these stores was almost exactly the same. I joked with friends that maybe there's really only one Wal-Mart that exists and the doors are just magic portals that take us from wherever we enter into the Wal-Mart Zone.

Now I shouldn't be surprised by this, I know. All big-box retailers (Wal-Mart, Lowe's, Home Depot, K-Mart, Target, Best Buy, etc.) are like that in their own way, but it just became this sort of personal epiphany. In contrast, while in Bozeman and Missoula, I had the opportunity to spend some time checking out the character of the downtown of each city. Both had lots of smaller non-chain stores with lots of character. I found cool things you'd never find in a Wall-Mart, and the prices weren't bad. Rockin' Rudy's, the very cool music and "stuff" store in Missoula, totally rocked! I'd much rather support a locally-owned store or even a regional chain, knowing that I've contributed to the local economy rather than line the pockets of the richest people in Arkansas.

So why did I go into Wal-Mart in the first place? Well, among some of the things I collect are Marvel superhero action figures, and Wal-Mart has an exclusive line there. Unfortunately, they were all sold out. Generally, I really do try to support the locally-owned stores, but this was a special case.

If truth be told, I don't mind shopping at Target or Best Buy... Both are based in my home state of Minnesota, and from what I've read, both chains treat their employees and the communities they locate in pretty well, for a big-box store, that is. But if there was a Rockin' Rudy's here in Sioux Falls, I'd rarely set foot into Best Buy.

1,067 Miles...

I just drove 1,067 miles from Missoula, Montana, back to Sioux Falls, South Dakota. That's 1,067 miles and only stopping 4 times for gas and/or food. Very tired... Must get some sleep... More on my trip soon!

Band discovery of the moment

Very cool new band from New Zealand: Breaks Co-op. Seems they had one of the biggest hits of 2005 in Australia. I'd describe them as a trippy update of Crosby, Still & Nash in the best of all possible ways. The song "Settle Down" is pure excellence..see lyrics below. "The Otherside" also totally hits the best notes (it's the one that was the big hit down under). Their CD is not yet available in the US, but you can hear some of their songs on their website: www.breaksco-op.com. Definitely worth checking out!

Settle Down

(I love you)
Saw you on a tightrope, falling every time
Never looked so graceful, dancing with your life
Had I known the outcome would I have cut the wire?
Seems the more you suffer too, the more I settle down

God you're looking perfect, reigned in silent days
Really was it worth it, to see you on display?
Shame it never hurt me, to stand by you and say
Seems the more you suffer too, the more I settle down
Seems the more you suffer too, the more I settle down
Seems the more you suffer too, the more I settle down

Place you on a mantle, shower you with praise
Make you feel important, digging your own grave
Have you sucking lemons, laugh at you on stage
Seems the more you suffer too, the more I settle down
Seems the more you suffer too, the more I settle down
Seems the more you suffer too, the more I settle down
Seems the more you suffer too, the more I settle down
Seems the more I hate you too, the more I settle down

I was a backseat brother, tryin to do it undercover 'til you told me to change my ways
Now I'm a cheerleader for the end of deceit that you practise to leave me amazed
And if I say that I love you it don't mean that I trust you or the way that you use the phrase
You were my next door neighbour 'til you did my girl a favour
Now it's you that's just a phase

If it all works out in the end that you and I cannot be friends
A day goes past, a day not ends that I don't think of you

If it all works out in the end that you and I cannot be friends
A day goes past, a day not ends that I don't think of you
(I hate you)

Numeric sequence...

Just created a piece of "art" for our upcoming punch card art show. I'll post a link to it soon... But somehow I was struck by the concept of the constellation Orion: the Hunter and a sequence of dates and numbers: 1066 1492 1776 1984 2001 9/11 911...

1066 - Norman conquest of England changed the English language and culture
1492 - the "discovery" of America by Columbus
1776 - the United States becomes independent from the British Empire
1984 - George Orwell's chilling novel about the "future"
2001 - a space odyssey
9/11 (2001) - destruction of the Twin Towers in New York
911 - universal emergency phone number

I'm sure there are more relevent sequences of numbers, but these seemed to stick in my head for some reason. Kinda heavy, I know. I suppose I could have also included 1966 for my birthday and the release of the Beatles' Revolver...we all live in...a yellow submarine...sky of blue...sea of green...

Read this every day!

Before I head out for the weekend, I want to encourage all three of my occasional readers to read Andrew Sullivan's Daily Dish every day. He makes a lot of really good political points. Have a safe and happy weekend. I'll be thinking of you all when I visit my mom back in Lowry, Minnesota.

Rock on: \m/ \m/

Lyrics of the moment II

"You Could Be Happy"
by Snow Patrol

You could be happy and I won't know
But you weren't happy the day I watched you go

And all the things that I wish I had not said
Are played on loops 'til it's madness in my head

Is it too late to remind you how we were
And not our last days of silence, screaming, blur

Most of what I remember makes me sure
I should have stopped you from walking out the door

You could be happy, I hope you are
You made me happier than I'd been by far

Somehow everything I own smells of you
And for the tiniest moment it's all not true

Do the things that you always wanted to
Without me there to hold you back, don't think, just do

More than anything I want to see you go
Take a glorious bite out of the whole world

Lyrics of the moment

"Obstacles"
by Syd Matters

Let's say sunshine for everyone
But as far as I ... can remember
We've been migratory animals
Living under changing weather

Someday we will foresee obstacles
Through the blizzard, through the blizzard
Today we will sell our uniform
Live/Leave together

Blizzard

We played hide & seek in waterfalls
We were younger
We were younger