Geek love: the Sharpies of our desire

So I was at Barnes & Noble today and I noticed the young woman who was serving as the check-out was using a green pen. In a chit-chatty way she commented that she really liked using that pen with green ink because is was distinct from all the other "boring black ink pens."

I commented that I, too, liked using pens with different colored ink, like purple. She came back with something to the effect that she really liked purple pens too.

Then, sensing a fellow pen geek, I confessed that my writing utinsels of choice were fine point Sharpies--to which she smiled and took out a black Sharpie and, waving it in the air with a slight flair, said, "Me too! It's cool that they come in so many colors now." I said,"Yeah, I like the olive green ones and the magenta ones." She said she had a pink one to do invoices.

We then stopped for a beat and sort of smiled at each other in smirky, knowing way, realizing we were both pen geeks. In a way it was awkward, but in another way, comforting, as in finding out "it wasn't just me."

I really enjoy life moments like that. Hmmm.

How can we go on?

Brace yourself. First it was Ben and J-lo, then it was Brad and Jennifer, now we learn that Nick and Jessica are breaking up. I just watched a nearly five-minute segment about it on the Today Show. I don't know if I can handle this. (I wonder if she is to blame? Damn, you, Angelina Jolie!) I just feel like crawling into bed and never coming out. How can we live in a world where celebrity relationships and/or marriages don't last?!? How can that kind of life be even remotely worth living? I will wear black today in honor of the love and convenient career advancement opportunities that no longer exist between Nick and Jessica. I don't know how I'm going to make it through the day without bursting into tears. Oh, the horror!

Okay, now I'm over it. Thanks. I'm sure there will be more celebrity marriages and break ups. What else would our news media do with all their time? Happy Thanksgiving!

Thankful part 1

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, let me begin to offer a short list of things I am thankful for...

>> I'm thankful that the people of Dover, Penn., voted out all eight members of their school board who supported the forcing of science teachers to adopt intelligent design into their biology curriculum. Thanks for keeping God out of schools and keeping him in the multitude of churches that abound in this country. (Don't get me wrong, God is good and all, but religion just doesn't belong in science classes. I would be supportive of teaching a world theology course in all high schools so we could also better understand Islam, Buddism, Judiasm AND Christianity as well as other religions. Imagine how that would help America!)

>> Oddly enough I'm also thankful that goofy old Pat Robertson spoke up and said that since the residents of Dover, Penn., "voted God out of their city" they shouldn't come crying to him when a tornado or a hurricane or the bird flu (or maybe all three) destroy their town. [Sarcasm alert: Whew! Thank goodness there ain't no homosexuals living in Dover, or there just might be some fire and brimstone from the heavens too.] It just shows what a lunatic he is (and that he believes in an angry, vengeful God of the Old Testament). I'm sure the people of Dover are just as good or bad as they were before and are happy with the church and form of worship of their choice.

>> I'm thankful that my nephew Dan looks like he'll be making it out of Iraq in one piece and will be home for Christmas!

>> I'm also thankful that 'king W.'s approval rating continues to plummet. Can I say it one more time: Wost President Ever!

>> I'm thankful for my friend Charlie in Lincoln, Neb., for Chris & Heidi and the kids in Solon, Iowa, for Karl & Jody and the kids in St. Joseph, Minn., for Alex & Holly, Peg, Sheila & Marcel, Doc, Jeff, Owen, Pam, John & Deb, Sue & Paul, Rose, Stacey & Dan, Don & MaryBeth and everyone else in Crookston, Minn., for Doug S. in Las Vegas, and for Tim & Shannon in Houston, Tex. Thanks friends.

>> I'm thankful for Steve, Jane, Trevor, and Jon and EVERYONE at the Washington Pavilion. You are a great group of people to work with.

>> I'm thankful for all the GOOD music that came out this year [and that there was a bit less crap]... and most recently for the great remasters of all the classic Eurythmics albums. Look for a best of 2005 list soon.

>> I'm thankful for chocolate in all its wonderful forms!

Big Oil is the winner!

Wow, what an eye-opener! I just read that Exxon Mobil Corp. and ConocoPhillips, two of the biggest of Big Oil, have raked in their biggest profits in history! Exxon Mobil's profits were up 75% and ConocoPhillips' profits were up 89%. Hey, at least someone got something out of Hurricanes Katrina and Rita!

It's hard not to somehow feel taken advantage of, however--personally and collectively as part of the Middle Class (not to metion those who have even less than the Middle Class). It's just kind of hard to take when we hear of things like pensions being cut or frozen for workers at General Motors, like hurricane-displaced people struggling to make ends meet, and like the big cuts in health care programs for the poor and elderly. Oh, you didn't hear that the Senate Finance Committee's 11 Republicans outvoted the 9 Democrats to cut MediCare and MedicAid by $10 billion? Who says Republicans aren't compassionate conservatives?

I understand that natural gas prices are expected to increase 30-50% for this coming winter. Yeah, more profits for the energy companies! You'd think with such historic profit margins, they could cut us all a break. So much for all Americans pulling together in times of trouble. Oh, yeah, that's not an American ideal, that's either more of an ideal for the poor and/or socialists. Here in America, it's everyone for himself, Big Oil not excluded, eh?

Hammering nails and speaking in tongues...

Don't really know what the title of today's entry means, but sort of sounds cool together...It's a line from "Doesn't Remind Me" by AudioSlave.

I was really busy today at work, as usual. Never seems to be any time to breathe deeply and/or process information. It's always on to the next thing and then the next after that. I guess that's the benefit AND curse of working for a non-profit entity.

Decided not to head to Crookston this weekend, even though I'd really like to. The Halloween Party fell apart and I just have so much work to catch up on that I can't take this weekend AND next weekend off. If I can go in to work on Saturday I think I can make a big dent in the budget work I need to get done. That way it won't be hanging over my head.

I happier news, Miss Jane Hathaway brough delicious filled pastries to our meeting this mornign in celebration of my B-day. Thanks, Jane, that was very nice of you!
I will now go and read a magazine and drink a beer. Whoo-hoo!

Thanks to everyone who sent birthday well-wishes!

One last piece of "wisdom"

Okay, so in the last minutes of 38 I just have to say that from my observations when people break up, it's almost impossible to be friends. Does anyone know of a situation when that actually happened? Okay, now on to being 39. Goodnight and have a pleasant tomorrow...

39 is really, really old

Okay, so it's almost midnight and I am hitting the realization that 39 is really quite ancient. In fact, in the middle ages I'd probably be dead by now... Okay, now I'm over that brief bit of insecurity. 39 is great! (but it is really, really old)...

Oh by the way...

Oh by the way, I really like cinnamon rolls. Really. A lot. Just thought you should know.

39 and counting...

So, in a little more than 14 hours I will turn 39 years old (my mom told me I was born around 9 a.m.). One more year before that milestone of 40! Don't really have any problems with 39, or 40 for that matter, but it is a little odd to think about time and lifespan. Most of my friends have been married for a number of years and many of them have children who are as old as 10 or 11 or older. I don't have much to show for the carrying on of the ol' genetic material, but that's okay. There are plenty too many people in the world as it is.

Upon reflection I'm thankful for the many friends I've made in 39 years, most notably Charlie, Karl & Jody, Chris & Heidi, Alex & Holly, Peggy and so many more. Overall I'm thankful for my experiences at GHS, UMM, UMC, and now the Washington Pavilion. I'm thankful for my family--mom and dad, sisters and brother, nieces and nephews, cousins, aunts and uncles...

My wish for the coming year is to gain more confidence in my job and to try to eliminate debt. Here's to 40-minus-1!

...and I feel kinda crappy...

Yeah! October is here! My birthday month! Woo-hoo!

...and I feel kinda crappy... September is one of my favorite months; October comes after that. And despite the fact that it's my birthday month, I kinda always feel crappy in October--and let's not even talk about November, the worst month ever.

I'm sure it all has something to do with the diminishing length of the day. It's darker each morning and darker sooner each evening. Then daylight savings time ends, and it's even worse. I really hate late autumn and the resulting seasonal affective disorder it brings.

I also miss friends and relatives. My social life here in Sioux Falls hasn't really materialized. I don't really have anyone I can just hang out with here in town. Occasionally friends come to visit: Charlie from Lincoln every so often, Karl from St. Cloud once a year, a few relatives maybe once a year or so... Alex and Holly from Crookston came down in the spring.

Sorry, I know I'm wallowing a bit, but this is the most depressing time of the year from now until January 1. Only 80 days to go. Woo-hoo! >Sigh<

Cool music video alert

It's been quite a while since I've seen a music video that ranked as notable in my book. (MTV doesn't play music videos anymore, and VH1 only plays them during the later hours of the a.m. Anyway...) But early this morning on VH1 I saw the new video by that new new wave group the Killers: "All These Things That I've Done" It instantly brought me back to those days in the 1980s when a cool new music video was a major topic of discussion.

The video, shot mainly in black and white, is a surreal pastiche of women throwing boomerangs, band members as suburban cowboys, and falling. Not surprisingly, it is directed by Anton Corbijn, a verteran video director who also brought us the nifty video imagery of U2's "One" and Depeche Mode's "Enjoy the Silence." You can see these videos along with the Killers' latest on a compilation DVD "The Work of Director Anton Corbijn" on PALM DVDs. Go out and buy it now.

I've had the Killers' CD in my collection for well over a year and, actually, about a year ago "All These Things That I've Done" was pretty heavy on my personal playlist. Glad to see it received a great video treatment. COOL BEANS!

Ah, TV, what would I do without you?

Okay, so I'm really sort of hooked on that TV show LOST now. Tonight's new episode was really gripping... What was down in the mysterious quarantined hatch? I didn't expect a computerized nerve center. Weird. Now I have to watch next week. Resistence is futile. I have been assimilated.

Also, Battlestar Galactica's season finale is this Friday. Gotta watch it!

Two new really guilty pleasures: My Fair Brady and Breaking Bonaduce. Sad to say it, but these two reality shows have totally sucked me in! Argh!

I missed the season premiere of Arrested Development because it is now on Mondays. So I'll have to try catch next week's episode.

That is my TV report for now.

The stars sing; I've got their song in my head

My new favorite song of the moment is "Ultimatum" by the Long Winters.
It speaks to me somehow...

You can download a free MP3 at Barsuck Records site.

Ultimatum
Student, why do you dream of me
When you dream of your acre of trees?
It was agreed, I came to burn leaves.
It's all I ever claimed to do.
A plowman I'll never grow into...

My arms miss you; my hands miss you.
The stars sing; I've got their song in my head.
Ahhh....

Blue in the broad light of day
As claws snagged on my face.
Say it: I wish we were naked,
And I wish I could take it
When you turn on me...

My arms miss you; my hands miss you.
The stars sing; I've got their song in my head.
I don't want my words twisted.
I don't want you to listen too closely,
Or wait for me impatiently,
And I hope I can keep seeing you
As long as you don't say you're falling in love...

Crave translates into slave.
No one can harness the rain.
And I can make myself into rain,
Can you feel me on your cheek
And on your sleeve?

My arms miss you; my hands miss you.
The stars sing; I've got their song in my head.
I don't want my words twisted.
I don't want you to listen too closely,
Or wait for me impatiently,
And I hope I can keep seeing you
As long as you don't say you're falling in love...

But I can feel you're about to forget.

Yes, I can feel you're about to forget...

Visited States

I've been to 22 as of Aug. 2005. It would have been 23 this weekend if not for Hurricane Katrina and what it did to New Orleans... My thoughts and prayers go out to all who died there and all who have been displaced...




create your own visited states map
or check out these Google Hacks.

A fun activity

This is fun: Go to Google.com, enter the word "failure" and hit the search button. Notice the first result that is generated. I love it! I agree! Worst _______ ever! A total failure in every regard!

Thank you, Pat Robertson!

Self-righteous Christian and former presidential candidate Pat Robertson yesterday called for the assassination of Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez, who has been very critical of the Bush administration and America in general. According to the Associated Press, Robertson on his 700 Club religious show said "We have the ability to take him [Chavez] out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability," and added, "It's a whole lot cheaper than starting a war ... and I don't think any oil shipments will stop."

This comes shortly after Robertson earlier this month, again on his 700 Club show, called for his audience to pray that there would be additional vacancies on the US Supreme Court. Since Supreme Court justices serve a lifetime term, the only way there would be a vacancy would be because of death or some other health related issue (Sandra Day O'Connor stepped down to spend more time with her husband, who apparently has Alzheimer's Disease). In essence, Robertson was asking people to pray for death or some other bad thing to happen to additional justices.

Mr. Robertson, what kind of Christian are you? Do you even hear what you are saying? Do you know what the Fifth Commandment is? Why don't you call for your rich buddies and your audience of devout Christians to do something constructive like give to the poor or pray for world peace? Thanks for exposing your true colors--the colors of a self-righteous hypocrite. Bah!

DDSDDS

Walking down the street this afternoon I noticed a truck pass by. On its side was Dakota Data Shred Document Destruction Services. It struck me with an odd mixture of feelings: amusement, pensiveness and security. First I laughed at the thought of exploding piles of paper. Next came to mind thoughts of monks in Europe during the Middle Ages and how they often spent many hours hand-copying books. Would they be appalled that documents were so plentiful in this day and age that we freely destroyed them on a very regular basis? I guess information these days is cheap... I know we destroy documents these days to protect privacy, etc. and, in the end, from my 21st century perspective I guess I was glad that an organization like Dakota Data Shred Document Destruction Services exists. Still, I wonder what it was like living in time when even being able to read was a skill that only the very rich and those darn monks possessed... Confetti, anyone?

The Mom vs. the 80% President

You go, Cindy Sheehan! Thanks to this mother of a young soldier killed in Iraq, someone is finally having the persistence to ask a simple question. That question is: why are we in Iraq? All she is asking for is a direct, honest answer. It's no wonder that 'king W. is avoiding her...he doesn't have an answer because his state rationale has changed with each revelation that the previous reason given by his administration doesn't hold water.

So how does one ask such a question when the supposedly liberal media has all but given up on true investigative journalism? This solitary mother simply decided to camp outside his driveway as he takes the longest presidential vacation in 30+ years. He truly is the 80% president, since he has spent approximately 20% of his entire time in office on vacation at his Crawford, Texas, ranch, according to Mark Knoller, a CBS Radio reporter and as reported in the August 3, 2005, edition of the Seattle Times. And, according to that same edition of the Seattle Times, "Weekends and holidays at Camp David or at his parents' compound in Kennebunkport, Maine, bump up the proportion of Bush's time away from Washington even further."

Let's say the average person works 52 40-hour work weeks or 260 days. Now let's subtract 7 days for holidays like Martin Luther King Day, Memorial Day, July 4, Labor Day, Thanksgiving Day, Christmas, and New Year's Day. That's 253 work days for the average American worker. At his rate of 20% off, 'king W. takes about 50 days or 10 weeks of paid vacation per year--which means he works about 203 days a year. I'd love to have a job where I could take 10 weeks off and still earn my full salary.

To be fair, his aides say during his vacation he receives daily briefings and signs required paperwork, etc.--sort of a work at home atmosphere. I don't really buy that as "working" as I often check in with work on days off or on weekends to see how things are going.

Since I've begun to ramble, let me finish by acknowledging the two issues here. 1) One solitary mother can do more to be persistent in order to ask a question than the entire U.S. Media and still be ignored by 'king W. and 2) 'king W. has what could be the most complex job in the Western World and, yet, apparently spends far less time at it than the average American spends at his or her job. Man, this guy must be like the best president ever! (Please read that last line with a strong tone of sarcasm.)

Can't talk, angry...

Okay, I haven't posted anything for about two weeks. Why? I'm trying to get over being politically angry.

Angry at 'king W's appointment of John Bolton as US ambassador to the United Nations and Peter Flory as assistant secretary of defense--both of which via a constitutional provision enabling him to bypass the Senate and install directly a nominee who had been blocked in the Senate.

Angry at 'king W. for his endorsement of the push by many of his conservative Christian supporters to give intelligent design equal treatment with the theory of evolution in public schools.

Angry at 'king W. not firing his lackey, Karl Rove, for revealing the name of a CIA operative.

Angry at the U.S. Congress for passing an energy bill that gives big oil companies billions of dollars of tax breaks and that does very little to lessen our dependency on fossil fuels.

Angry at the U.S. citizenry for letting this all happen without any sense of public outrage.

Honestly, I'm not normally an angry person, but it just goes on and on with no end in sight. So I guess I should talk about something positive.

Sufjan Steven's new CD "Illinois" is excellent with quirky, joyous, sad and often beautiful moments.

Okay, now back to being politically angry, at least until the 2008 election...

Lyrics of the moment

This song recently struck me for some reason. It's obviously about loss and regret.
It's on the soundtrack to the snow farce Out Cold.
Band: Jimmy Eat World - Song: Hear You Me

There's no one in town I know.
You gave us some place to go.
I never said thank you for that.
I thought I might get one more chance.
What would you think of me now,
so lucky, so strong, so proud?
I never said thank you for that,
now I'll never have a chance.
May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.

So what would you think of me now,
so lucky, so strong, so proud?
I never said thank you for that,
now I'll never have a chance.
May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.
May angels lead you in.
May angels lead you in.

And if you were with me tonight,
I'd sing to you just one more time.
A song for a heart so big,
god wouldn't let it live.
May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.
May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.
May angels lead you in.

Six people who aren't screwing up America

Accolades to Mr. Jon Stewart of the Daily Show for inviting Bernard Goldberg, conservative author whose new book "100 People Who Are Screwing Up America" is heavily biased against liberals and entertainment figures. Why the accolades? Mr. Stewart and Mr. Goldberg, who obviously disagreed, had a very civil conversation where each got to make some excellent points. How ironic that such an insightful debate took place on a fake news show, when most "real" news shows would simply degenerate to petty insults and yelling. Also kudos to Mr. Stewart for trying to have a civil, meaningful discussion with someone he disagrees with and not just inviting a liberal friend with a book to promote. He proves we can have civil discourse between the left and right.

After the show, I did a little research and found that Mr. Goldberg's list of people who are screwing up America includes (my comments in parentheses):

#1 Michael Moore, filmmaker - (I understand that Michael is controversial, but how is providing some unheard viewpoints and a dissenting opinion screwing up America?)

# 6 Jimmy Carter, former Democratic president - (What? Who knew winning a Nobel Peace Prize, building houses for the truly needy and supervising elections in other countries was really bad for the world?!)

#37 Al Franken - (Interesting that someone who actual does supporting research and includes it in his books would be screwing up America)

And Barbara Streisand because she has a liberal slanted blog? Who listens to Barbara Streisand on political matters? Who listens to Babs anymore even for her music?

I'll admit I haven't read the book, but his bias against liberals is pretty evident. I'd be okay, I guess, if he gave equal time by listing the following (these folks are some people with serious power...):
Rush Limbaugh (divisive hypocrite "news" jocky), Bill O'Reilly (can dish but can't take it when he's called on it), Ann Coulter (for calling anyone who disagrees with her a traitor to the US), Fox News (fair and balanced, hah!), Bill Frist (a powerrul senator and an M.D. who doesn't seem to know how AIDS is really transmitted), Tom Delay (for proving you can be a criminal and still keep your job in congress), Karl Rove (master manipulator), Ahnold Schwartzenegger (for thinking he could solve California's many problems by reciting lame quips from his movies), Pat Robertson (working to erase the line between church and state) and 'king W. himself (too many reasons to mention here, but let's start with rolling back 40 years of environment progressivism and lying about the reasons to go to war with Iraq).

How about a list of people who are helping to keep America from getting more screwed up? Here's a start...

#1 Jon Stewart for the Daily Show
#2 Morgan Spurlock for 30 Days (you gotta watch this show)
#3 Bill Cosby for trying to get people to take responsibility for their lives
#4 John McCain (yeah, I know he's a Republican) for trying to bring bipartisanship back to Congress
#5 Jeff Immelt for making General Electric a more eco-friendly company
#6 Bill Gates for donating lots of money to try help stop the spread of AIDS in Africa

365 days

So, I've been here in SF for one year now officially. It's been quite a year, mostly in a good way. I think I've changed a little for the better. The job is going well. I've met a few great people. And I've lost a couple people that meant a lot to me. But I guess that's how it goes. I look forward to a second year of maybe knowing what to expect at work and being a bit more effective. Challenges always exist, and they should. Overall, I'm optimistic to see where this year takes me. Bring it on!

Cryptically clear!?!?

I ran across this description today in a music review. What do you think it means?

"Happy sad. Simple yet complicated. Sincere yet cool. Naive but clever."

Also, came across this lyric... how would you interpret it?

"All those giant little animals, don't they seem like monsters?"

An open letter to the media regarding Tom Cruise

Dear American Media Masters,
I hate to break it to you, but I really don't care all that much about Tom Cruise or his personal life. I know you feel compelled to report every aspect of his life as serious news that merits journalistic integrity, but I don't care. I don't care that he's crazy in love for the third or fourth time. I don't care that he's in another blockbuster movie. I don't care that he's a scientologist or that he may or may not be gay. I don't care what his ex-wife Nicole Kidman thinks about him. I don't care what Oprah or any celebrity news reporters think either, for that matter. And you know what, I don't think I'm alone in this celebrity apathy.

Please, please, please, please, dear media masters, please turn your attention to some real news. I'm sure Mr. Cruise is a genuninely nice person, but please offer something else. At this point I'd take a kitten up a tree--almost anything (except more celebrity antics) would be a step up. There must be something? Nope, not celebrity trials. Sorry, behind the scenes movie stories don't count either. Um, no, celebrity diet plans are out too. I'm sure you can think of something to report...Hey, I know, how about something detailing how the war in Iraq is going? Or maybe an interview with someone from another country asking about his or her thoughts on America? Something? Anything? Please?

In touch with 1505

Okay, so these comments will either put the final nail in the coffin that condemns me to hell and/or will get me excommunicated. (Interestingly enough, I actually prayed before moving forward with this post.) Anyway, I'm just going to point out a few things that cause me growing concern about the Catholic Church and how it's not so much in touch with 2005 as with 1505.

Fall of 2004--many Catholic bishops and priests used the pulpit to tell their flocks that to vote for an elected official who may have a pro-choice stance is to put one's immortal soul in danger. Loosley translated: voting Democrat (many of whom are pro-choice) will send you to hell. My question: wouldn't voting for a Republican (all of whom are supportive of the war in Iraq, which has been called "immoral" and "a defeat for humanity" by Pope John Paul II) essentially be bad too?

Spring of 2005--the whole Terri Shaivo issue involved "playing God' -- if you supported the removal of the feeding tube from the (now recently re-confirmed via autopsy) brain dead accident victim, you were playing God and supporting not the liberation of a soul from a brain dead body, but the killing of an supposedly still sentient young woman. My question: wasn't it playing God by inserting the feeding tube in the first place? Many Catholic priests and bishops used their pulpit to condemn the husband as an evil killer who, by the way, was also committing adultery because he had moved on and remarried. Even people lost at sea are considered dead after 7 years, aren't they?

Spring of 2005--the selection of German cardinal Josef Ratzinger as Pope, Pope Benedict XVI. Pope Benedict has called homosexuality an “intrinsic moral evil”; has described the movement toward equality for women “radical feminism”; and has denounced rock music (specifically by the Beatles, the Rolling Stones, Pink Floyd, the Eagles, and Queen) as an "instrument of the Devil" because it "endangers the human soul." And according to David Gibson, a former Vatican Radio journalist and author of a book on trends in the church, “[Ratzinger] has said himself that he wanted a smaller, but purer, church.” My question: isn't the message of Jesus about forgiveness and acceptance? And while he didn't necessarily condone their activities, didn't Jesus associate with lepers, prostitutes, and tax collectors (the homosexuals, feminists, and rock musicians of his time) forgiving them their sins and accepting them as human beings? And let's not even go to the place where we discuss purity and groups of people deemed unpure...

If you read this blog, even only occasionally, you know that I worry about the fearmongering that is going on by our elected officials, the rise in influence of the judgemental religious right, the erosion of the separation of church and state, and the dumbing down of America in general. These are the same conditions that brought about the Dark Ages. A few demagogues took control of the church and set back science and humanity hundreds of years. Demagogue: one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots. (thanks for that definition H.L. Menchen)

If those people were still in control, we'd still believe the earth was flat, the sun revolved around the earth, diseases we caused by demons or some sin your parents or grandparents committed, women were inferior and were to serve only as baby incubators, homos were to be stoned, and the only acceptable music was by church choirs. Wait... Re-read those last three again? My point exactly.

Personally, I don't believe God cares that much if you're a man or woman, who you sleep with as long as it's consensual, or what music you listen to, as long as you try to make the world a little better, try to give to those who are less fortunate, and try not to judge others. What was that phrase... "Judge not, lest ye be judged?"

By the way, I've always wondered just what the Catholic church could accomplish in the world if it melted down all the gilded chalices and golden cruicifixes (adopting humble glass cups and wooden crosses in their stead) and cashed that all in, along with all the jewels, art, extra land and other material-world stuff and just fed, clothed and educated people--and stayed out of the political arena...

Now maybe we can expect some REAL news...

Now that yet another celebrity trial is over with the "not guilty" verdict in the Michael Jackson case, perhaps we can expect some real news on our networks. Oh, yeah, I forgot, this is the American media we are talking about. There'll be plenty of runaway brides, missing white children, shocking celebrity break-ups and other non-items to cover.

Wait, wait, wait, now maybe we can get some news of how the war in Iraq is actually going. Nope. Expect more of what's on 'king W.'s iPod, who Paris Hilton has on her cell phone call list, and the latest person to get a phone thrown at them by Russell Crowe.

Hold on, you mean we won't get to hear how our allies in Europe are reacting to our latest foreign policy moves? Probably not, but we may be exposed to some unfounded gossip about how Hilary Clinton may be a lesbian (don't expect to hear about anything she's accomplished in Congress). Or maybe that 'king W. sometimes talks baby talk to the First dog.

How about some balanced coverage on who "Deep Throat" was and why it's even relevent? Nope. But maybe we can hear why his famous whistle blowing was "unethical" from some right-wing pundits who were tried and convicted for their involvement in Watergate (but the media conveniently won't give your their backstories because it nullifies anything they'd say).

Nichts. Nil. Nada. Nothing. Oh wait, what's that? A ray of hope? Nope, it's just that crazy Courtney Love acting out again! Wow! That really helps me understand the socio-economic struggle of the lower middle class.

Since most of us don't get BBC America on our cable selection, I guess the best that we can hope for is to keep watching The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. I actually do get some vital information by watching the fake news. And I do read the newspaper everyday, but that's a whole other entry waiting to happen.

Nightly news? Today Show? Even CNN? They give us all the infotainment we really need. After all, the whole world just loves us Americans, so why should we bother learning anything about the rest of the world... After all, the "president" doesn't read newspapers, so news must not be that important, right? I can't wait to see what celebrity is found "not guilty" next time.

11:45 and random thoughts

It's 11:45 p.m., about the time I start to wind down and feel like hitting the hay, but tonight I'm not tired. Honestly I haven't been sleeping well lately, or ever! I usually wake up at least 3 times a night--I have ever since I can remember. I'm told I might have sleep apnea, but I don't want to go to a clinic to check that out. I've always just been a light sleeper.

Anyway, random thoughts going through my head right now--stream of consciousness: bills coming due, hating all the rainy weather, annual report at work, friends and loved ones, a trip to Kansas City next weekend, nearing a year at my "new" job, karma, would I ever go back to UMC if they made a good offer (which they won't), probably not, why would i want to go back, new Coldplay and White Stripes CDs come out tomorrow, I wish I was independently wealthy, blah, blah, blah.

Okay, I guess I'm a little more tired now. Getting these thoughts written down maybe got them out of my head for a while. Maybe I'll try to hit the hay.

Enthralled by Mythbusters

Okay, I admit to being a bit of a dork and maybe even somewhat of a geek (and the following doesn't help help my case any either), but I have to admit that I am totally enthralled by the show Mythbusters on the Discovery Channel (Wednesdays at 8 p.m. CST). Jamie and Adam are just too cool, and they get to do fun things like blowing things up and making things sink and doing all sorts of damaging things to Buster, the poor crash test dummy.

They both have a certain personal style, too. One sports a walrus-like handlebar moustache, a shaved head and a black beret, the other has a goatee, big 50's style geek glasses and often wears a fedora.

I've been watching the show since it came on about two years ago, and they still find interesting things to test every week. And they know their stuff! What a cool job they have, getting paid to test urban myths. This week they will try to build a working jet pack of their own, and they are likely to succeed! It's edu-tainment at its finest in my book.

Episode III, part 2: The Zen of the Jedi

Also, I noticed a very Zen moment from the Jedi master Yoda. "Let go of the thing you fear losing the most, you must." (or something like that). That and a comment about the dark side being about absolutes and the Jedi way not being fundamentalist. (Is it just me or did anyone else notice the polical commentary and how the rising empire mirrored what is happening here in the US?)

Letting go is something I'm not particularly good at. I am working on that on many levels, but the Scorpio in me makes that a challenge. Zen is all about letting go and making the most of the very moment here and now. Modern religion could sure learn a lot from the Jedi (and from Zen). Maybe I should train to be a Jedi... Now THAT is truly geeky, I must admit.

Episode III

Yes, it's the end of an era, the end of a saga (and sort of a beginning of one), and the official end of my youth, I think. Episode III of Star Wars was fun in its own way, mildly disturbing in another. You sense an ambivalence? Well, duh!

The storyline was fine. We all knew the outcome, but how we got there was, at times, gripping. The special effects were cool. And yet there seemed to be lacking a certain heart. Upon reflection, I think it may be attributed not to the film, but to the person who is me who watched this film (vs. the person who was me who remembers the original episodes IV and V). If I were that age again watching Episode III, I'd probably be saying how ultimately cool it was, and it was really pretty cool!

And yet, it seems to be a sort of bookend for the first part of my life. You, yes you, the occasional reader of this blog, know somewhat vaguely of the challenges of this past year. Lots of 'em and more I didn't detail here. I think they were all about growing up...

The tyranny of the majority

Before I start today, I encourage you to read this excerpt from John Stuart Mill's essay on liberty:

Like other tyrannies, the tyranny of the majority was at first, and is still vulgarly, held in dread, chiefly as operating through the acts of the public authorities. But reflecting persons perceived that when society is itself the tyrant — society collectively over the separate individuals who compose it — its means of tyrannizing are not restricted to the acts which it may do by the hands of its political functionaries. Society can and does execute its own mandates; and if it issues wrong mandates instead of right, or any mandates at all in things with which it ought not to meddle, it practices a social tyranny more formidable than many kinds of political oppression, since, though not usually upheld by such extreme penalties, it leaves fewer means of escape, penetrating much more deeply into the details of life, and enslaving the soul itself. Protection, therefore, against the tyranny of the magistrate is not enough; there needs protection also against the tyranny of the prevailing opinion and feeling, against the tendency of society to impose, by other means than civil penalties, its own ideas and practices as rules of conduct on those who dissent from them; to fetter the development and, if possible, prevent the formation of any individuality not in harmony with its ways, and compel all characters to fashion themselves upon the model of its own. There is a limit to the legitimate interference of collective opinion with individual independence; and to find that limit, and maintain it against encroachment, is as indispensable to a good condition of human affairs as protection against political despotism.

Okay, so 'king W.'s whole administration and his congressional cronies, including Sen. Frist, have been exemplifying the tyranny of the (slight) majority--or, more probably, the tyranny of the vocal minority. They have been acting like they received a mandate even though the country is still pretty closely divided 50/50 on pretty much everything. They are in power, and they want to ensure they stay in power. They also want to force their opinions on basic birth control, a woman's choice, creationism, marriage, sexual preference, end of life issues, and general morality on everyone. Remember, Dr. Frist (yes he is apparently a real medical doctor) is the doctor who still doesn't rule out tears and saliva as major AIDS tranmission methods, even though it's basically an accepted fact they are not--but I digress.

Dr. Frist and 'king W. have also gone as far as saying that those who don't agree with them are against "people of faith." Apparently, these two men have a monopoly on God and what he wants (I've discussed this before). I'm sorry, but I believe in God and call myself a Christian. Yet, I certainly don't agree with these "people of faith." Where does that leave me? I am, apparently, a godless bastard doomed to an eternity in hell.

I am so very tired of the religious right-eous tyrannizing those who disagree with them. Although they would say that THEY are the ones being tyrannized. They brand those of us who disagree with them as faithless, yet they get mad when 'king W. is branded a "loser" (and yet he can get away with calling a reporter an asshole). I just don't get it! Isn't the hypocrisy glaringly evident to everyone?!? I believe that God probably sees it.

Let's get the church the hell out of government and back across the line into the churches again.

Rambling...

So what's the whole point, anyway? I've been thinking quite a bit lately about my place in the world. Have I made any kind of difference in my 38+ years here? Have I touched any lives for the better or has it all been vanity? So many things have changed for me in the past year, new job, new location, people coming into my life, people going out of my life. It's been a blur.

Regarding situations changing, people leaving: it's difficult. I was told don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened. Easier said than done.

Regarding meeting new friends: it's always exciting when you meet someone you click with and you share common interests with.

I guess I'm glad things change, that way we are always dealing with new potentials for positives. Still, it's difficult not to look back to those times you feel were really pivotal high points and wish that those moments could last longer. But one thing leads to another and so on and so on. It's quite a journey and we keep evolving and growing and building. Sometimes I just wish it was a little easier. Sigh.

Don't panic!

So I got a chance to see the movie The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy with my friend Charlie Blair this weekend. I'll admit I never read the books, but I did catch an episode or two of the British TV series. I have to say the movie was pretty enjoyable overall. Wacky, but in a good way.

My favorite part was the Infinite Improbability Drive, "a wonderful new method of crossing vast intersteller distances in a mere nothingth of a second without all that tedious mucking about in hyperspace." Using the Infinite Improbability Drive a ship "passes simultaneously through every point in the universe. It is then possible to decide at which point you actually want to be at when improbatility levels decrease." The effects of this type of travel can be disconcerting as you see the crew turning into knit dolls, planets changing into flowers or fruitcakes, nuclear missiles spontaneously becoming sperm whales or bowls of petunias, etc. Still, it's fun sort of concept.

42 everyone, 42!

Dollar Bill, Laura B. and a charmed media

So eveyone in the media thinks Laura Bush is a comedian after her comments at the White House Correspondents Dinner on April 29 about sneaking out with Lynn Cheney and Condi Rice to see some exotic dancers. Her salty story of how Lynn Cheney got her Secret Service code name of "Dollar Bill" was hi-larious, wasn't it!? Katie Couric and the rest of the gang in the media sure found her to be quite the Lenny Bruce! How properly hypocritical of this bastion of propriety to show a little humanity, eh? The faith-based, imperial couple seemed rather proud of themselves to yuk it up for the press (or maybe it was just a bunch of pre-screened supporters brought in to make them look good--who can tell these days?). I hope Mrs. Bush's comments made all members of the religious right-eous cringe just a little bit.

Now don't get me wrong, her comments were, in my mind, relatively tame, but they certainly fly in the face of the image of the first couple, who apparenly have a direct line to God (the vengeful Old Testament God, by the way)! Sort of like king W's comments of a few years back when he called someone an asshole when the microphone was inadvertantly left on... Maybe now they'll make guest voice appearances on South Park!

Blech!

Closing...

So I closed on my house sale today at 2:00 p.m. in Crookston, MN. I had driven up on Tuesday to check my renter out of the house and do a little fence repair. Wednesday was a busy day of cleaning and finalizing things. It was also a nice bonus to get together with good friends on both Tuesday and Wednesday nights.

On to Thursday. It was a little odd walking through the house as it stood totally empty with the thought that this time when I leave it's for good. IT was my first house and I had lived in it for four years. I really felt at home in that house, and it hosted many friends and loved ones over those four years. The guests during that time were the truest of friends. I have many fond memories of things that happened in that house, especially in the basement rec room. Sigh.

Oh well, I guess this spring is the time for closure on many things. The Crookston chapter of my life is now officially over. While I still have friends to visit there, I don't own anything there anymore. Only fond memories.

Ob la di, ob la da life goes on...

Appropriate R.E.M.

The One I Love by R.E.M.

This one goes out to the one I love
This one goes out to the one I've left behind
A simple prop to occupy my time
This one goes out to the one I love

Fire (she's comin' down on her own, now)
Fire (she's comin' down on her own)

This one goes out to the one I love
This one goes out to the one I've left behind
Another prop has occupied my time
This one goes out to the one I love

Okay, I don't really believe that--well, maybe in only some ways...I hope we aren't all just props for each other...

Lyrics of the moment...

Favorite lyrics of the moment from the Bravery's "Public Service Announcement":

You put the broke
in broken hearted
You put the art
in retarded...

Those who profess to know...

"I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People for the American Way, all of them who have tried to secularize America, I point the finger in their face and say: you helped this happen."

--Rev. Jerry Fallwell, noted evangelist on God's retribution on 9/11

GOD TELLS ME TO
by the Ass Ponys - from the album The Known Universe

I’m gonna walk around the yard
Until I find a hill of ants
Take a magnifying glass
Heat ‘em up and watch ‘em dance

And I only hurt because I think of you
And I only kill because God tells me to

I drove by your house today
But I didn’t dare to stop
And I felt just like an ant
As I rode around the block

"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires."

--Susan B. Anthony, reformer and suffragist (1820-1906)

"God send us down an unbeliever who will deliver us from the madness of the morally certain."

--John Gorka from "On the Road"

Keep on rockin' in the free world

Just got back from the Steve Earle concert. Nearly three hours! Three words: Steve Earle Rocks!

Oh, the irony!

I came across this in a column (dated March 25, 2005) by political writer Maureen Dowd of the New York Times:

"As the Bush White House desperately maneuvers in Iraq to prevent the new government from being run according to the dictates of religious fundamentalists, it desperately maneuvers here to pander to religious fundamentalists who want to dictate how the government should be run."

Well stated! Oh the irony of it all! The Terri Schiavo case and how Bush and his republican buddies reacted to it is very telling. The great king W. even cut short his vacation to come in and sign the legislation. Thank God there wasn't any authority to act. Whatever happened to separation of church and state? If we're trying to prevent it in Iraq, why are we letting it creep in here at home?

Wake up America!

What I really want to say is...

At some point in certain situations we all must come to terms that maybe what we really want isn't ever going to happen. You can cry, get angry, blame someone (someone else, yourself, God), or plead (with someone else, yourself, God), but none of it will change the facts.

At some point you just have to realize that you can sit there and wallow or simply move on. I find that somewhat troublesome, but eventually it is necessary to move on.

So, then what? You can put up walls to protect yourself or you can throw caution entirely to the wind and be really wreckless. Neither is particularly healthy, but what are you going to do? I guess we all just chalk it up to experience and try to build on what we've learned. Someone once said when God closes a door he opens a window. What the hell does that mean? It's not the same thing, but I guess things are never exactly the same, are they? Suck it up and keep moving, damn it!

What I really want to say is that sometimes the facts just suck!

If...

So, if I'm ever at a point where I've been in an accident, and for the past fourteen years I've been in a verified persistent vegetative state, and my spouse wants to remove my feeding tube, and a U.S. circuit court has upheld a decision to allow the removal of said feeding tube... PLEASE DO NOT LET THE U.S. CONGRESS CREATE SPECIAL LEGISLATION TO KEEP MY BODY ALIVE!!!

Oh my GOD! What has this country come to?!?! I guess the radical right republicans are flexing their powers to play God--the vengeful, old testiment God they want to force on the rest of their visionary new Amerika.

It's the same Amerika where they have the power to do their will, Constitution be damned. It's the same Amerika where the only people who get to attend presidential rallies are those who support the president. It's the same Amerika where the press corps includes insider "journalists" whom the president can call upon to ask easy, uncontroversial questions. It's the same Amerika where you are required to pray at work and in school to that old testiment God. It's the same Amerika where it's okay to discriminate against two men or two women who want to commit to a monogamous relationship. It's the same Amerika where they protect your right to be born but not to die. It's the same Amerika where the rich get to keep all their money and the poor get to be their servants. It's the same Amerika where they tell you to do as they say, but not as they do. It's the same Amerika where the president can tell an outright lie and then rewrite his rationale for actions taken based on that lie. It's the same Amerika where they won't let the arrival of the caskets of the soldiers killed because of that lie be shown on the news because the war is being won. It's the same Amerika we are currently living in. What happens tomorrow?

I find it incredibly ironic that the U.S. Congress is fighting so hard to keep a singular dead woman alive while more of our living sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, nephews and nieces are dying every day in Iraq.

Some Stuff

A few things that seem to sort of go together at this very moment...

"We are constantly invited to be what we are" -- Henry David Thoreau

***

"There are two kinds of Christmas people," Mark Oliver Everett (of the band eels) says, "those who like their Christmas lights to stay on solid and those who like them to blink. As a kid, I always had a thing for sitting in the dark and watching the lights blink on and off at random." Now he says this fascination goes much further. "In the end, what we have are these little, great moments. They come and they go. That's as good as it gets. But, still, isn't that great?"

***

Ten Days, by Missy Higgins:
So we've put an end to it this time. I'm no longer yours and you're no longer mine.
You said this hill looks far too steep if I'm not even sure it's me you wanna keep.
And it's been ten days without you in my reach,
and the only time I've touched you is in my sleep.
But time has changed nothing at all - you're still the only one that feels like home.
I've tried cutting the ropes and I let you go but you're still the only one that feels like home.

You won't talk me into it next time, if I'm going away your hearts coming too.
'Cos I miss your hands I miss your face. When I get back let's disappear without a trace.
'Cos it's been ten days without you in my reach,
and the only time I've touched you is in my sleep.
But time has changed nothing at all - you're still the only one that feels like home.
I've tried cutting the ropes, tried letting go but you're still the only one that feels like home.

So tell me, did you really think...
oh tell me, did you really think I had gone when you couldn't see me anymore?
When you couldn't...
'Cos baby time has changed nothing at all - you're still the only one that feels like home.
And I've tried cutting the ropes, I let you go but you're still the only one that feels like home,
Yeah, you're still the only one that feels like home,
you're still the only one I've gotta love. Oh yeah...

***

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." -- Robert Frost

Spork, spork, spork!

Ah, the beauty of the spork--park spoon, part fork! I love these bizarre, if-they-mated permutations! Vanocolate (vanilla flavored chocolate), Repocrats (very conservative Democrats), giggups (hiccuping when giggling), and their imaginary ilk. What kind of drugs am I taking?!? Maybe I'm just intaxicated (rapturously dreaming of what I'm going to do with my tax refund). Maybe it's one too many sugar free Red Bulls...

I Heart Huckabees

Just watched I Heart Huckabees on DVD last night. It's an interesting, funny movie about the meaning of life. It had an almost stream-of-consciousness quality that made me think it was either: 1) extremely profound or 2) directed by someone experiencing a fantastic drug high.

It involved existential detectives who watch every aspect of people's lives. What it comes down to is that we struggle with finding meaning in life between the polar concepts of everything being intimately connected and potentially joyful and everything being disconnected and filled with misery.

I have to admit it's one of those movies that I hope is enhanced by multiple viewings. There are some very funny moments, to be sure. Made me think about a lot of stuff. I think I lean toward the idea of everything being connected... So ask yourself, is reading this entry somehow connected to what you have going on in your life? No? Okay, nevermind...

So what is midlife anyway?

A good friend of mine who lives in Las Vegas called me last night. He'd been in a car accident, but walked away from it without a scratch. Not his fault, he was rear-ended. But it shook him up a bit--a brush with mortality. He's been struggling with being in his mid-thirties and wanting to be a father and wanting to make a difference in the world and feeling he's coming up a bit short.

I often think similar thoughts. He's been going through sort of a midlife crisis or a pre-midlife crisis. At least he's married. So what is midlife these days anyway? 35, 40? I suppose. Sort of makes me wonder if I'll ever even collect any of the money I've paid into Social Security. Especially if they change it/dismantle it under the big W.'s plan to make the wealthy even more obscenly wealthy.

I don't know where I'm going with this entry, but it does reflect my social insecurity and my disdain for 'king W. Blah!

A light that never goes out...

So I was eating at Taco John's tonight before taking in the Second City comedy show at the Pavilion and suddenly the light bulb right above me went out. I wonder, if a light bulb goes out directly above your head, does that mean you lose an idea?

Anyway, that's been happening to me a lot lately--lights going out when I approach (not the lose the idea thing, but I guess I wouldn't be aware even if that did happen). Lately, I've noticed street lights going out when I drive under them. This has happened to me probably 7 times in the last two weeks.

Maybe I was wrong about my super power. Maybe it ISN'T the uncanny ability to choose the shortest looking check-out line in a store only to find it takes the longest amount of time to go through because the person immediately before me has check-out delays...

The lights going out phenomena is documented: paranormal.about.com/library/weekly/aa012400a.htm

Or maybe it's truly just a coincidence...

Alaska! Athlete! Alaska!

Three groups that are currently stuck on heavy rotation in my CD players:

Halloween, Alaska
www.halloweenalaska.com
They're a group from Minneapolis, mostly, and they'll soon have a new CD out. Until then, "Call It Clear" is fully embedded in my mind. One of the band's members is also in the Bad Plus.

Athlete
www.athlete.mu
I liked their first CD, and I'm really liking their follow-up, just released in England, available here as an import. The first single, "Wires," is immediately engaging, and the video for it is haunting. They get bonus points for a very cool website.

Built Like Alaska
http://www.builtlikealaska.com
Another Alaska, this one has ties a Grandaddy, one of many other bands I'm rather fond of. I found the melody of "Random Car" rolling around my mind all afternoon today. They definitely have an indie sound. I also like the cover art for their latest album. Clever name for their web message board: BLA Blah.

Bummer #73

So I found out today that my house in Crookston, which was about to be sold (yeah!), will end up NOT selling in an eleventh hour disappointment. Apparently the woman who was going to buy it ended up not being able to sell her house. Since it was a contingency agreement, I'm out of luck. Sigh. I was really hoping to not have to do two housing payments per month. Thank goodness I have a renter for a little while longer... But, damn, it seemed like it was almost a sure thing.

Well, here's hoping the spring housing market looks up.

The benefits of laziness

Yes, sloth is one of the traditional seven deadly sins, but today it is the modus operandi--an I love it! It's been a pretty busy couple of weeks, so yesterday and today I've really not done much but nap and read and listen to music and watch some awesomely bad television. This is the kind of thing that can really recharge one's battery--or at least mine.

After two days of this, however, I will be eager to get back to work. Weird to say that I look forward to Monday. On the other hand, I'm glad to say I don't have to stay home on a regular basis. I think having to watch weekday daytime television would truly drive me insane.

You can't go backwards

I realized last week that the old "you can't go home again" adage is pretty accurate. I drove up to Crookston to get some papers to the realtor. It was weird being back in the town in which I spent nearly 14 years. It was familiar, yet really different. The changes that are small and day-to-day when you live somewhere suddenly become major changes if you haven't been there in three months!

It was great to see the many friends I still have there--nice to know I could just sort of pick up where I left off--but it was still a little different. You can call it short term nostalgia, I guess. For a while it was just like I'd never left, but then something would remind me of that fact that I have been gone for seven months.

So, here I am, back in Sioux Falls, looking forward to what lies ahead. It is nice to know, however, that there are people back there I still care about and who seem to care about me...

From out of the blue

I think it's an interesting phenomenon of the Internet: e-mailing someone you've never met from out of the blue. I've not done that often, but recently got up the courage to e-mail a couple folks whose websites, etc. were interesting.

I guess it's not all that much different from striking up a conversation with someone you don't know at a concert or in a grocery store or on a bus, or, gasp, in an elevator. The interesting thing is that it's sort of one-sided. On the other hand, if you've read the person's website, you sort of know you already have some things in common. Still, there is something mildly disconcerting, almost voyeuristic about it. (Damn these Libra tendencies!)

In the end, though, a friendly message sent is just that. Nothing more, nothing less. If it is ignored, nothing is lost, but there is a potential to meet some new friends, who could be from anywhere across the globe!

All because of U2

So, I caught the tour company of Rent at the Pavilion tonight. While the set was cool, the concept was interesting, and the cast was definitely talented, it just wasn't my cup of tea. Sorry 1990s. I guess I've just never been that big a fan of musical theater that has every line sung. Jesus Christ Superstar was lost on me too. Give me straight-on drama or even a musical that has some spoken dialogue. Maybe I was just too tired. Maybe it was a combination.

On the way home I heard U2's new song "All Because of You." Good song. It got me wondering if Bono meant it to be a love song, a song about God, a love song to God, or all of the above... Ah, Bono, you always tease us...

I was born a child of grace
Nothing else about the place
Everything was ugly but your beautiful face
And it left me no illusion
I saw you in the curve of the moon
In the shadow cast across my room
You heard me in my tune
When I just heard confusion
All because of you
All because of you
All because of you
I am...I am
I like the sound of my own voice
I didn't give anyone a choice
An intellectual tortoise
Racing with your bullet train
Some people get squashed crossing the tracks
Some people got high rises on their backs
I'm not broke but you can see the cracks
You can make me perfect again
All because of you
All because of you
All because of you
I am...I am
I'm alive
I'm being born
I just arrived
I'm at the door
Of the place I started out from
And I want back inside
All because of you
All because of you
All because of you
I am

Perplexing. Thought provoking. Or maybe just good rock 'n' roll...

Loneliness finds her own way

So I woke up this morning just feeling lonely. It's been about seven months now that I've lived here in Sioux Falls. I've learned my way around fairly well and met a lot of people. I've had friends and family come to visit me. I've reconnected with some friends and am on the way to making a few new ones. That's all normal and good, and from years of living with and by myself I have learned that I may appear, at first, to be a bit aloof. The fact is that I am a bit shy, and it just takes time for me to feel at home in a new place.

All that said, I'm just damn lonely today.

There's a difference between solitude and loneliness. I often appreciate solitude. Loneliness is an unwanted burden. I do hope that does not end up my fate--to be alone. I guess most of us worry about that a bit. Here's hoping I don't end up alone...

The new new wave

Speaking as a graduate of the class of 1985, I have to say I'm wholeheartedly supportive of the trend toward the new new wave. It's nice to see new wave updated for the new millennium, but it's still new wave when it comes right down to it.

Bands like Franz Ferdinand, Interpol, the Killers, the Futureheads, the Features, and Dogs Die in Hot Cars, among others, are resonating with an increasing number of music buyers. That's especially refreshing after about five years of former Star Search winners, Britney clones, boy bands, and American idols. (Even Kelly Clarkson's new single sounds somewhat like it could have been a hit for the Cars back in about 1984.) Could the wasteland that is American pop music be heading toward an oasis?

And now I've learned of the U.K.'s Kaiser Chiefs. The song "I Predict a Riot" is wonderful--retro and current, simultaneously! Check it out at www.kaiserchiefs.co.uk/music.php. You'll be glad you did. Althought it hasn't been released in the U.S. yet, I'm hopeful...

Now let's just hope the this stage in the evolution of popular music doesn't give way to a resurgence of hair metal for the 00's... (I hope I didn't just jinx it.)

Calling for the stoning of SpongeBob

Long sigh...

Just when I thought we Americans couldn't get any less intelligent and/or holier than thou, we are told (and some are, I'm sure, buying this) by right-wing evangelical groups that SpongeBob SquarePants is now luring children to a life of depravity. According to a Reuter's News Agency report, the American Family Association and Focus on the Family, two conservative groups, singled out the popular yellow cartoon character in criticisms of a new video that promotes tolerance and diversity.

No matter that SpongeBob's creator has previously stated that he views SpongeBob and his buddies as asexual. No matter that the video includes other characters like Barney, Winnie the Pooh, Bob the Builder, the Rugrats, and characters from Sesame Street (Tinky Winky the allegedly gay purple Teletubbie is conspicuously absent). No matter that the video's producer, Nile Rodgers, says, "You have really got to look hard to find anything in this that is offensive to anyone. The last thing I am going to do is taint these characters."

The main problem, according to the conservative groups, is that there is a link to a pledge on the We Are Family Foundation (WAFF) website that refers to another organization promoting tolerance. That group, Tolerance.org, apparently is open minded enough (or immoral enough, depending on whose side you are on) to include sexual identity, along with race and religion, as one characteristic of people that we can all be a bit more accepting of.

The main problem, in my mind, is that the media even picked up this story. The WAFF didn't pursue the limelight, but the conservative groups sure seem to have relished the coverage and the opportunity to persecute their gay neighbors and judge others. These groups are also having an anti-tolerance field day capitalizing on the coincidental name similarity of the WAFF and WAF (WeAreFamily), an organization dedicated to supporting GLBT youth.

I'm wondering why they singled out SpongeBob. One report said it was because he and his friend Patrick, a starfish, sometimes hold hands and skip. Well, geez, if that doesn't corfirm SpongeBob's flaming homosexuality, what would?!?! It doesn't help his case that he's not married and lives in a flamboyant but tidy pineapple under the sea.

While we're at it, I always thought it odd that Bert and Ernie, two single "best friends" from Sesame Street (neither of whom I've ever seen on a date with a woman) live together. Something immoral must be going on there. And what about Dr. Benton Quest and his "bodygard" Race Bannon. Not only are they suspiciously close friends, but there's no mother figure in the Quest household for poor Johnny to be nurtured by.

Sigh. Sigh. Sigh.

I guess we should probably go back to stoning homosexuals and bring back slavery, since those are acceptable social practices in the Old Testament. Maybe I'll go to hell for saying this, but I just don't think God wants us to treat anybody that way... As Rodney King said, why can't we all just get along?

Visit the We Are Family Foundation and Tolerance.org to draw your own conclusions.

A good day, a sad song

Today was a great day at work--super busy, but very worthwhile for some reason. I just had a very positive attitude and vibe going all day. I didn't accomplish anything special above and beyond the norm. I guess I got a few ads and commercials lined up and finalized, which carries a certain amount of closure. But mainly I simply had this very enjoyably zen-like day living and appreciating things for what they were from moment to moment.

All the stranger, then, to cosider these lyrics from the song "Cheap Parades" by Holly Williams. I've really grown to like this song, and on the way home the lyrics just struck me as really beautiful:

I love you with more tears than any pain could ever bring me
I fight it most everyday
I hurt you with more truth than your own eyes could ever teach you
I'm tired of living this way, when I know it's wrong

I don't really know why they resonated so strongly, but they did. Weird.

Church and state: gotta keep 'em separated

Last Thursday I caught ABC's Nightline, which discussed the new push by an incresing number of public schools toward teaching "intelligent design" as an alternative to evolution. The story focused on one example, the Dover Area School Board in Pennsylvania, which has voted to require the teaching of intelligent design along with the "theory" of evolution. In its purist form, intelligent design holds that life is far too complex to have developed accidentally without the guiding hand of an intelligence or a creator.

I guess if I were pushed, I'd probably say that I'd agree that God, an ultimate Intelligence, probably designed the universe in all its complexity. But that doesn't mean that I don't believe in evolution--or that this Intelligence has guided the development and evolution of human beings over millions of years. Why do they have to be mutually exclusive?

What became quite evident as I watched the interviews and coverage of schoold board meetings was that these proponents of intelligent design in Dover were simply viewing this as a foot-in-the-door opportunity to promote full-blown creationism in its most biblically-literal sense. When pressed, many of the board members couldn't convey the concept in their own words other than it meant that God was directly involved in creating the world.

A friend of mine recently mentioned that he had some home schooled high school students taking one of his college biology courses. When he discussed evolution, they bristled quite visibly. The next day their mom was on the phone to question the appropriateness of teaching evloution as anything more than a theory. Her boys, apparently, were in danger of questioning their home schooled beliefs that God created the earth and everything on it in seven days.

I'll weigh in here since this is an excellent (but not the only) argument for the need for separation of church and state. There is substantially strong evidence to support the theory of evolution. Those who take the Bible literally deny this, pointing out that the evidence in the fossil record, carbon dating techniques, traceable commonalities in anatomy and DNA similarities between various species are, simply put, trickery produced by Satan to lead us all astray. In their view the Earth is only about 6000 years old and dinosaurs never existed or were all killed by Noah's flood. It's these delusions and their strong faith that protect their literal interpretaion of the Bible.

Why, oh why, can't all this hard earned scientific evidence be maintained and a simple thought like this suffice: time works differently for the Creator, who over millennia, has guided the development of the Earth to a point where it could sustain life and, eventually, produce a thinking, reasoning human race. Is that such a threat to their faith? There is, apparently, no tolerance for anything that would question that literal translation.

I like the idea that public schools teach evolution and diversity of thought, even though it is always endangered. If you don't like what is universally taught in the public schools, please don't try to ban it or rewrite it or discredit it. There is a thing such as freedom of religion, and there are more than enough Sunday schools to add whatever dogma is required. Then, there's always the homeschool option.

I guess I don't come across as a very good Christian, or maybe I come across as a weak-faithed secularist. But geez, let's teach opening the mind and critical thinking rather than closing the mind and blinding, unquestioning faith. God must have had a purpose for the questioning mind. And while I can't claim that I know what Jesus was thinking, what I take from His message is a gentle and loving tolerance and a move to understanding and helping each other. This rather than judging and controlling others by censorship and manipulation in His name.

And they will wallow in their own ignorance...

It takes intelligence to appreciate satire, and I think that's why so many average citizens living in Bush-lite America have trouble with it. Okay, so I'm stereotyping people in Mississippi. (And, basically, all the red states--and I can get away with it, maybe, because I live in a red state. Let me say, however, that I don't subscribe to most of the values red-staters hold dear.)

It had to happen. Jon Stewart's best-selling satirical book, "America (The Book): A Citizen's Guide to Democracy Inaction," was banned by the Jackson-George Regional Library System in Gulfport, Mississippi. Then, a couple days later it was reinstated, much to the chagrin of a many board members, one of whom, David Ogborn, stated, "Our libraries are not a trash bin for pornographic materials."

Why was the book banned? Admittedly, it was not because of the sartirical, sarcastic content, which Jon Stewart himself called "much worse" than the actual reason: the fake naked photos of the justices of the U.S. Supreme Court.

First, I own the book, and I certainly wasn't aroused by these pictures of shrivelly and saggy bodies. I know I don't represent the typical American viewpoint, but I would hazard a guess that a vast majority of those who have seen the photos are far more repulsed than attracted... A naked body does not constitute pornography!

Second, WalMart, bastion of Christian morality that it is, has apparently also declined to carry the book. Before casting a stone at Stewart, let's try paying a truly decent wage and benefits to our associates, not undercutting mom & pop stores, and not taking advantage of overseas near sweatshop-like labor conditions all for the sake of the new god: profitabiltiy!

So what about that whole satire thing I started with... Unfortunately so many Bush-lite and neocon types don't have enough intelligence or enough of a sense of humor to appreciate the true snarkiness of the book. They take it quite literally, like all their favorite books (i.e. the Bible). Apparently satire is evil because it begins with the letters s-a-t.

Come on America, keep your minds and your libraries open to all viewpoints, ESPECIALLY those that run against the grain of "majority" opinion. Only by exposing ourselves to such ideas and thoughts can we really deal with each person's uniqueness. Remember, the best democratic decisions are usually made after consideration of the varied viewpoints. Besides, having a book on a shelf or a show on TV does't mean you HAVE to chose to read or watch it. But others might want to. Apparently one man's pornography is another man's satire...

Presweetened cereal-induced pop culture nirvana

I remember back when I was a kid in the early 1970s there was one day of the week that I highly anticipated: Cartoonday (read Saturday). I'd get up well before 6 a.m. and watch some snow and then the test pattern and then the National Anthem and then a morning filled with NBC cartoons. I wish I felt that level of anticipation today. Now I look forward to sleeping in 'til 8 a.m. or so on Saturdays.

There was one particular Cartoonday each year, usually in September, that I'd get up extra early to catch the debut of all the new cartoons. I wouldn't want to miss any of it, even if it was an oftentime lame live action show ("Land of the Lost" was a major positive exception in this genre). Occasionally during a commercial break or slow spot, I'd turn the channel dial to try to catch another network's offerings. If I was lucky I could catch a snowy picture with intermittant sound from ABC or CBS.

Breakfast was a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, Trix, or Lucky Charms, eaten conveniently and somewhat defiantly on the livingroom floor directly in front of the TV. (I already said I didn't want to miss a single minute). I clearly remember moments of presweetened cereal-induced blissful pop culture nirvana in front of that TV.

These days, I occasionally find strains of those feelings of rapturous anticipation while awaiting a new CD release by a favorite group or coming across something really cool on the Internet. These moments are fleeting, however, and cannot compare to those nostalgia-laced sugar-coated memories of Saturday mornings past. Sigh.

Es schneit und mir friert

It's interesting what sticks in my mind sometimes. Es schneit und mir friert (German: it snows and I freeze) comes from a passage I had to memorize in ninth grade German class. It snowed here in Sioux Falls Tuesday night and into Wednesday. First real snow of the winter and it measured about six inches. Cold? Well, relatively. It's been in the single digits and sometimes slightly below.

My friend Pam in Crookston sent an e-mail with a photo of the bank's time and temperature sign. Its unsympathetic, logical computer sensors indicated -35 (I understand it was -60 with wind chill). Ah, I really DON'T miss northwest Minnesota, although I often miss some of the people there. I might actually be able to deal with only three months of winter here rather than six months in Crookston! Whoo-hoo!

Anyway, the snow is rather an inconvenience. It's pretty, but very bad for traffic here, and I end up having to shovel the driveway. The first snow always forces us to renegotiate our driving skills too. Maybe I should consider snow tires or a four-wheel drive vehicle. Then again, my little S-10 usually does all right. A $10 investment in sandbags for the bed above the wheel wells would probably do wonders.

This is rambling, so I'll end with a little haiku I just came up with:

Snow swirls above us

Lit like stars by nearby lights

I dream of fireflies.

Hello 2005 (and welcome!)

So I woke up on January 1, 2005, and found myself in Solon, Iowa, of all places! I guess it really wasn't surprising, since I had driven down to visit my friends Chris and Heidi Patterson and their kids. It was a 390-mile, five-and-a-half-hour-drive, but it was worth it to see them all and spend some time ringing in the new year with them. Just two weeks ago they moved into their new home, which features a great family room, now complete with a very nice bar. We welcomed in 2005 with a few drinks, we talked, and we ate some great food.

Some of my favorite moments included watching the move "Garden State" with Chris and Heidi. They had never seen it, and I'm a big fan who is trying to spread the word about this nice, quirky film. I also enjoyed playing shot checkers with Chris (and winning!) and watching the extended version of "Return of the King." They are good friends and I miss them, but we just sort of pick up where we left off whenever we get together. I consider them more like family, actually. They say you should spend time with good friends on New Year's Eve, and I felt very good about the whole weekend.

It rained on New Year's Day! Then on Sunday, it was in the low 40s and sunny. It was so nice we could walk outside without jackets . What an interesting winter we're having. Driving back, the interstate got a little icy near Albert Lea, but was fine by the time I got closer to Sioux Falls. Now I'm back home and digging into work, which is also good. I look forward to the year ahead and the many possibilities.