An open letter to the media regarding Tom Cruise

Dear American Media Masters,
I hate to break it to you, but I really don't care all that much about Tom Cruise or his personal life. I know you feel compelled to report every aspect of his life as serious news that merits journalistic integrity, but I don't care. I don't care that he's crazy in love for the third or fourth time. I don't care that he's in another blockbuster movie. I don't care that he's a scientologist or that he may or may not be gay. I don't care what his ex-wife Nicole Kidman thinks about him. I don't care what Oprah or any celebrity news reporters think either, for that matter. And you know what, I don't think I'm alone in this celebrity apathy.

Please, please, please, please, dear media masters, please turn your attention to some real news. I'm sure Mr. Cruise is a genuninely nice person, but please offer something else. At this point I'd take a kitten up a tree--almost anything (except more celebrity antics) would be a step up. There must be something? Nope, not celebrity trials. Sorry, behind the scenes movie stories don't count either. Um, no, celebrity diet plans are out too. I'm sure you can think of something to report...Hey, I know, how about something detailing how the war in Iraq is going? Or maybe an interview with someone from another country asking about his or her thoughts on America? Something? Anything? Please?