Brace yourself. First it was Ben and J-lo, then it was Brad and Jennifer, now we learn that Nick and Jessica are breaking up. I just watched a nearly five-minute segment about it on the Today Show. I don't know if I can handle this. (I wonder if she is to blame? Damn, you, Angelina Jolie!) I just feel like crawling into bed and never coming out. How can we live in a world where celebrity relationships and/or marriages don't last?!? How can that kind of life be even remotely worth living? I will wear black today in honor of the love and convenient career advancement opportunities that no longer exist between Nick and Jessica. I don't know how I'm going to make it through the day without bursting into tears. Oh, the horror!
Okay, now I'm over it. Thanks. I'm sure there will be more celebrity marriages and break ups. What else would our news media do with all their time? Happy Thanksgiving!
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See! Yet more proof that legalized heterosexual marriage will be the downfall of civilization.
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